Made to suffer
by Ikimmilove
Summary: losing everyone you know is hard, cruel and sad. but not so much to 14 year-old Rose Parker. she wakes up in a forest, not knowing how she got there, where her is family is and where she comes from. Her mind is like a complete blank page from a book. she tries everything to avoid her past, who she once were, while trying to survive a crazy cruel world.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys XD **

**I recently started reading some TWD fanfics and I had to say that I really enjoyed them! **

**So I was wondering, maybe I should do one too, guessing I love them so much. I just started writing so hopefully you can be nice to me XD I'd really appreciate some feedback so I know you like it and it motivates me to keep going on. I'd really love it if you give me some tips or tell me what you want to read. **

**This first chapter is kinda an introduction to the character, but you won't find out a lot from her previous life, because something happened so she can't remember it, but I promise you'll find out soon what her life was like pre apocalypse**

**(disclaimer is do not own the walking dead or any character from the tv-show, just my own character) **

**1 intro**

Some people wake up knowing who they are, where they come from, what goal they're aiming for and knowing where their history lies. I mean, those kind of things are the things that form your life, mold you into the person you are going to be.

Today I woke up from the blackness that captured me for what it seems like days, considering the ache throughout my whole body and the dried blood on my hands. My mind is completely empty and it's nothing more than a blank page in a book. There's not much what I can remember, but I know that we now life in a world where everything can be over in one second. In just one finger snap. The only thing I'm really sure about is my name. It was written on the gold neckless around my neck. My name is Rosalie Mary Jane Parker.

I'm alone, completely alone. I don't know if I have a family or if they're even alive at this point, during the circumstances. Since the apocalypse everything was hopeless, life became a hell and impossible. Almost every human being was gone. Good friends, neighbors and family, all the people you cared even a bit for. More than the half of the world population was whipped out. But you know? I do see this situation as a chance to change the world to build up a new one. Not that it was my job to do, but at least someone's, right?

It was dark I felt a measure headache pounding in my head, making me dizzy. Dark wine-red blood dripped down my face. It was not much, but it hurts like hell. My sight was all a blur and soft noises kept echoing in my head. There was no sign of life. I managed to get up and looked around. I analyzed the area bit by bit, figuring out where I was, how that I got there. I was in a forest. I looked further, hoping to see any sign or a board. One thing caught my eye. There was blood on the ground. A lot of blood. There clearly had been a fight or at least a struggle to get away from something or someone.

Suddenly I heard something groaning behind me. "shit!" I muttered. I looked behind me and stood face to face with a 'walker'. All of these walkers… they once had families. A few years ago these walkers would be people with personalities, feelings, emotions, stories to tell and futures. Now it's all gone. Nothing more than rotten corpses. I grabbed my 3-inch knife from my holster that was tied around my waist. The so called 'walker' stumbled towards me, causing me to step a bit.

It had a sloppy gait as it approached slowly. I had to say it wasn't a pretty sight. His jaw was dislocated, showing its ripped up tongue and blood stained teeth. His decaying flesh peeled away from his body, showing his bones and organs. He missed a part from his arm, that dangled loosely attached to the point where it used to be. The walker moaned as it shuffled towards me, as it let out a blood chilling groan that you knew would hunt your nightmares for weeks, maybe even months.

I had to to act quick before it was too late. I tightened the grip on my knife and went completely into Rambo attack. I ran up to it and took it down by jamming my knife into its skull. It's got to be the brain. That's what I remember. I tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in its skull. I twisted a few times and it released from its head. It made a horrible 'squishy' sound. Its lifeless bloodied body was on the muddy ground. "Gross. " I mumbled, making a look on my face. I could never get used to these bloody, drooling freaks.

It was getting dawn and I had to keep moving. I couldn't stay at one place. That's a thing that's sure if you want to survive. At least that's what I think it's for the best. While I packed my old east pack, I heard something rustling in the bushes not far away. I looked around and tried making a sense of the sounds. I held my breath in panic and took a hold on my knife. The sounds became increasingly more louder and seemed to come closer. I looked further and analyzed the area, making sure that nothing could go wrong. But I was wrong… I heard a tree branch snap en looked over my shoulders. I turned around and stood face to face with a man. He looked straight through my soul with his electric blue eyes. He held a big rifle and pointed into my head. "drop the knife NOW!"

**So that was the intro I hope you like the intro teaser thingy XD**

**For the record I'm not from America or the UK. I'm from the Netherlands - so English isn't my first language XD it's just easier for me to write. So if I'm doing something wrong please tell me!**

**So I hope you favorite, review or you can PM me **

**-Ikimmilove-**


	2. Chapter 2

**(disclaimer: I do not own any TWD characters just my own ****J****) **

**Here is chapter two. From now it'll get more exited and the chapters will be longer**

**Enjoy!**

2

They say never trust a person. Even if it's your closest friend, family or your partner. But does that change if the person is holding a gun. I don't think so. I mean it's not that I trusted the stranger. In fact he was taller and older than me and he had a gun trained on my head. But I wouldn't stand any chance and I'm not suicidal yet. So I did what the man said. I threw my knife on the ground in front of my feet.

So far that saying never let your guard down. Smell the sarcasm? But those sayings are crap anyway.

I knew the man could shoot me any minute, but what could I do? I had no one who could protect me or jump in front of the bullet .

I raised my shaky arms in the air and looked at the stranger. The stranger had brown mixed with gray hair. He wore a beige blouse and dark blue denim pants. He had a scruffy beard and looked like his face lost a battle with it. After a second I managed to say something to the stranger.

"w-what d-do you want from me?" I stammered to the stranger. The man lowered his gun and his tough look turned soft. Slowly he walked towards me, keeping his hands low, in a surrendering position. I took a step back. I didn´t know or trust this man and what he was doing gave me the chills. He went down on his knees so he could meet my eyes on my level. "where are your parents? Your group?" he said, looking around. I swallowed a lump down my throat "that's none of your business."

I snapped, taking another step back. He got up and looked me in the eyes. "look kid, I'm just trying to help you." he said very serious. I sighed and looked at my feet. "I don't know….- I don't know where they are." I shrugged, not caring a bit about them. They're dead. For now I'm alone. He sighed and grabbed my knife from the ground. He came closer and pointed my knife towards me. he had a determinant look in his face telling me not to fuck with him. "try one thing and you'll be one who's losing." I nodded reluctantly and looked at my shoes.

"here." He mumbled. Handing me my knife. I took it from him and put it back where it belonged, my holster.

I wondered where this guy came from, if he had a group or a family. These things seem so rare these days. A family. People who should take care of you, protect you with all their life's. they should be your safety net when you were hurt or scared or when times got though, just like now. It would be their job to protect you. it would be a job easily to fail. And my family failed it. Because they weren't here. here with me facing this shit they call life.

"do you have a group or a family?" I asked, curious, but cautious. He turned around and putted his hands on his hips. "yeah. I have." He said gazing at me. It felt like he was analyzing me, trying to make a sense out of the situation, like he was making up his mind about what to do. He let out a loud sigh and closed his eyes for a second.

Suddenly I felt a burning , stinging pain in my head. I raised my hand to it and felt something warm and wet . I looked at it and it was covered in blood. Fresh blood. I saw his analyzing expression turning into a concerning one. "I can't leave you around here alone. You can come with me and someone can look at that , but I can't promise you that you can stay. That's not up to me, kid. " I nodded . I don't know if I can trust him. I mean, five minutes ago he had a gun trained on my head. But I know if I wanted to life, I had to take this chance. And I didn´t want to miss that chance. I just couldn´t do that.

A inner voice in me confronted me, it felt like an inner conflict. _So what's it going to be?_ The voice kept calling and calling over and over again. Inner conflicts are human. I know that now. Everyone has them. They can change from one thing to another in just a matter of time. But sometimes you've got to stick to them. Even if you can't go back.

The man started walking and turned around after a bit, when he noticed that I was not following him anymore. "are you comin´ or what?" he said, turning back around. I had to make up my mind. What were the choices here? Either I could go back with that guy or I could be eating alive by those freaks. The worst thing that could happened were, walkers and/or bullets gazing by. Not a big deal, right? I've probably been through worse. And I'm not staying here, no chance, no way. I had nowhere else to go and I didn't felt like becoming walker bait yet, So I followed the man throughout the woods. Walking towards a destiny that would change my life. But was it in a good way or a bad way?

**Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun XD hopefully you like them. I'm real nervous when it comes to people reading my stuff, but my friend pushed me to do it XD **

**Please read, review, fave and you can PM me **


	3. Chapter 3

**So here's another one XD it'll get better from now on. The chapters will be longer and much better written XD hopefully you'll like them!**

**(disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead just my character ****J****)**

3

I followed the man throughout the woods. It was nice and quiet out in the woods. It was peaceful. It surprised me about how beautiful the world still could be. The sun rose and you almost forgot that the world got overrun by an infection, causing people to change into monstrous things that tried everything to sink their teeth into your neck, arm or other body limb. They tried everything to get their hands on you. And that was not even the real danger. The real danger was the game you played. You had to trust people and they needed to rely on you. They needed to trust you. It was one big gamble about choosing who you wanted to fight next to your side, facing the dangers together. It was just like gambling either you lose or you win, but you never knew where you were putting yourself into. But what does the word 'trust 'means nowadays. I know 'trust' was another word like 'hope'. Completely a waste of breath is what I like to call it. Hope, trust and faith are just words you nowadays spill out in the open air with no meaning. At least, It meant nothing to me anymore.

I could hear the man talking to me, but I didn't care much about that. What I cared about was my stinging pain in my head, pounding over and over again, like my brain was trying to explode out of my skull. It became increasingly harder to pay attention to the man and the environment surrounding me. With my right-hand I rubbed my temples. I tried to relax a little bit. It helped a little bit, but not enough. I kept stumbling behind the man. I knew there wasn't much distance between us but my blurred vision made it seem like miles. Like an endless tunnel. When I thought I was about to black-out, the man noticed my struggle and snapped my out of it. "hey kid, are you alright?"

I tried to shrug the pain away, but I couldn't. I felt my knees trembling and trying to keep their balance. I gave him a feeble nod and my vision began moving upside-down and the other way around. This stupid headache made me forget about everything, my family, my past. Everything! and now, I can't even stand up straight because of it. I could see that the man began to panic a little, but maybe he just became more alert. Why would they even care about me? I was a 14-yearl-old all alone in this world and looked like a tramp and probably smelled like one to. The man walked up to me and putted my arm around his neck so I could put my weight on his shoulder. He clearly knew that something was wrong. "let's get you back quick." He mumbled.

He dragged me all way across the woods. My feet felt heavy just like bricks. I tried to walk, but It became more of stumbling and dragging instead of walking. I dragged my feet over the ground, which was embedded with fall leaves, that crunched beneath my feet as I dragged them upwards. Fifteen long minutes went by before I could see a huge building through my blurry sight. "hang in there, kid." The man encouraged me. "we're almost there." I glanced up to the man for a second and noticed that sweat of panic glistened on his face. We reached a huge fence surrounding a huge building. He dragged me towards the entrance. They were two gates, one big orange steal gate and behind it was a silver wire gate. These were supposed to keep them safe from the horrors from outside the walls. I swear I could hear children playing and laughing, but maybe that was just a stupid vague imagination. Just as always.

"open the gates NOW!" the man yelled towards the gates. I could make up two persons. A kid, or at least what I thought and a woman.

My eyes began to close, as the pounding in my head became louder and harder. The man tightened the grip on me, because I was slipping away. Slipping away from the man's arms and the world. The reality.

He stopped for a moment to pick me up to get a tighter grip. My slumped body lay weak in his strong arms. I mean, if you can carry a 14-year-old then you pretty gosh darn strong. He was running. I could feel it. I could hear faint yells from people on the other side of the gates. I had to keep focus. I could not lose it right now. I had to be here. This is not how it should go. This was not how I wanted it to go. I should be able to walk myself in, not be dragged all the way to it. I just can't believe that I was fine at first and now I was probably unconscious. I mean, I could be, I'm not really 'right in the head' right now. Thinking about that made me feel kinda amused. Not that I think it's funny, but I never thought this would happened, you know. you never think about losing your memory and you sanity, Let alone in this world. This used to be such a big deal in the old world and now it's just a headache perhaps?

My eyes were closed now. The heaviness became too much and it was easier to keep them close. I could still hear the faint yells, but they weren't loud. " come on kid, hang in there. Don't close your eyes just yet." The man said, heavy breathing from running. "Maggie! Get Hershel to cellblock C now!" He called forward probably to the woman I saw running to the gates. I could heard fast and loud footsteps fade away as I heard other come close. I almost gave up to the darkness that was waiting for me, when I heard an loud call. The loud call stung my ears a little bit, making me open my eyes for a second. "dad! "the loud voice called. It was a male voice it seemed higher than an adult voice which surprises me. So they do have kids! "Carl, go back to your cellblock! It's alright!" the man called forward again. "who is she? Is she-" the person didn't finished his sentence.

"No she ain't dead. Just get the other kids and take care of them." I could hear a brief sigh as footsteps faded away and my vision went pitch black.

**So I hope you like it so far ( I know it's pretty bad XD) **

**From now on it'll get better ****J**

**Xxx ikimmilove**


	4. Chapter 4

**hi guys ;) i'll be posting some chapters now, but not all of it, because i have a severe care of writer-block XD hopefully you'll understand and keep up with me :)**

**enjoy! (disclaimer: i do not own twd just my own characters:) )**

4

It has been said, 'times heals all wounds. 'I do not agree. The wounds remain in time, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens but it's never gone. It always will be a part of you. Whether you like it or not.

I swear I could hear voices, right? They weren't loud, but they seemed so real. So real it almost seemed unrealistic. I blinked a few times to see if I was sleeping. Nope I'm defiantly not sleeping. They were soft and quiet but loud enough for me to understand. When my sight was sharp and neat again I noticed that I was looking at a ceiling. I found myself in a unfamiliar room. Everything was made out of concrete. Was I in the building? It kinda looked like a cell. Wait a second… this is a cell. I'm not dreaming again, am I? no, this can't be. I laid on the bottom bunk of an iron bunk bed. The room was dark and gloomy, but the bed was kinda comfy, I had to say. I turned at my side and looked around. The pain was still there. Luckily not as much as first, but it still hurts as hell, but it was manageable. Enough for me to keep my eyes open. I could see a vague shadow in front of the cell. There was a person guarding it. Of course there is! we don't want a 14-year-old killing an entire group, right?! Suddenly the voices became increasingly louder. I could hear that they were having a fight. I couldn't help myself but to listen.

"Rick had no choice! You can't just leave a kid like that! We're not like that and you know it." a warm female voice said.

"we can't trust her. Not after what happened." another woman said. She had a country twang in it. There was a little pause between the conversation.

"guys, this is my blood and my family we can't risk it, Maggie's right we can't trust her" a male voice hissed.

"so what?! Are ya'll scared fo' a little girl" a deep male voice grunts, sarcasm clearly audible in his voice. He had a southern accent. He was clearly from around Georgia.

"what happened to your humanity people! We're not like this. Have we sunk so low that we're thinking about turning a little girl out in a world like this?" a male voice said, the voice was deep and scruffy, it sounded like an older person.

It was quiet for a moment when the older man started talking again.

"listen you guys, Doctor S. has checked her…. No bites or scratches. According to him, she has temporary amnesia. We don't know how it happened, but in this state we can't leave her out there. She'll suffer from black-outs the next couple of days. It's too dangerous." the man said again. I could make out a few footsteps before a chair moved and it made a hard sounds on the concrete floor.

I busted myself on heavy breathing. It was burning hot in this room. Come on Rosalie keep it together! I whipped the sweat from my face. A flash of dizziness hit me again.

_Come on keep focus! They're talking about you! You need to pay attention! This isn't a good time to fall asleep!_ A inner voice called through my head. I pushed away the dizziness and it faded very vaguely.

There was still a shadow reflected on the concrete floor from the person guarding me. I wonder who it was, it was not big enough for an adult, but it was bigger than a children size. The person wore a hat and held a small gun as far as I could see from the shadows.

It was still silent from the other side of the room. The woman with the warm voice started speaking again: "let's just..- let's just wait until she's doing better then we'll handle this, right now we have bigger things to think about. He is still out there."

I could hear a loud sigh coming from some people in the room. Again it was quiet for a moment.

"Daryl? Have you checked her bag at least?" a male voice said.

Wait, wait ,wait did they took my bag? With my personal belongings? It's not that I have anything to hide or something like that , but they have no right to check that. I know they don't know me and I don't know them. But at least they made sure, that means they are cautious and able to protect this place. (as far as you can protect it.)

"yeah, but nothin' special or anythin' like that. Some water, ammo, a family picture and a dairy or somethin' like that" the male voice grunts. "that girl wouldn't last a day."

The people kept talking for another five minutes before they ended it. I let out a loud sigh I'm done with laying in this stupid bed. The faster I got out there the faster I'm outta this mess they call 'temporary amnesia'.

I could hear footsteps leaving the room and heard some people talking. Shuffling footsteps echoed through the prison halls. It was not really that silent. I could hear people talking and some people laughing. It made me feel on ease because there were people. Real people! Not walkers or animals, but real people! "I'll go check on her, maybe she's up." the old man's voice echoed through the halls. Loud footsteps came closer and closer. I could see a shadow stop in front of the other shadow that guarded the cell.

"hey kid, I need to go in there, Check if she's okay. Did anything happened?" the old man said to the shadow that apparently was a kid.

"nah nothing happened. I heard some heavy breathing. But that's all. my dad told me to hold watch and not let anyone in." the other male voice said. (probably the kid)

"why don't you go find your dad. He told me to get you." The old man replied a tad bit annoyed to the kid. After the person left the man came in. the first thing that I noticed was that he was walking on crutches and that he wore a prostatic leg. I don't judge people, but I wondered what happened to him causing him to lose his leg. But hey! That's a normal thing to think about it right? He gave me a friendly and warm smile, which I tried to return, but it became more of an weird look, that I can imagine It looked bad. I analyzed him. Don't get me wrong on this , but he kinda looked like Santa. He had a white beard and white hair that was pulled behind in a ponytail. I let out a breathy chuckle. The man looked with his clear blue eyes at me and smiled. He clearly noticed it. I tried to sit up straight, but fell out of balance and fell back. _No time to be weak now. You can do that later. _

The inner voice called again. Is this an side effect from the 'temporary amnesia'? because I never heard this voice in my entire life. Just ignore it, I told myself.

"Calm down kid, you need to take things slow." He said with a friendly smile on his face. I liked him right away. It looked like he was no harm. Even though you could see a tent of hurt and anger in his soft expression. He seemed old, but really wise. He walked up to my bed and sat down at the edge of the bed. "let me have a look at you, so we can see if you can come outside for a little walk."

He took a little flashlight from one of his pockets. You know, those kind of flashlights that only doctors have to check your eyes. I managed to sit up straight and he flicked the little flashlight on. He laid his hand on my head to steady and shined the bright white light in my eyes. It stung for a bit but I got used to it pretty fast. the man stuck out his finger and told me to follow his finger with my eyes. I did as he told me and followed the movements of his index finger.

"hmmm…"the man muttered after a while. His eyebrows were knitted together. He turned off the light and it made me blink some tears away. After a moment of thinking, or at least it seemed like it, he said: "we can give it a go, miss."

**soo yesss she met Hershel and will meet more people in the next chapter :)**

**hopefully you enjoy it so far, because i really love writting it!**

**please review, fave, read or PM me!1 it means alot to me!**

**xxx ikimmilove**


	5. Chapter 5

**hi guys! this'll be a lonngg chapter just like the uncoming chapters :) **

**i hope you like it so far! please give me some tips or review anything helps!**

**enjoy! :)**

**(disclaimer: i do not own TWD just my own characters;) )**

5

He man helped me up. (as far as he could help, during the circumstances with his leg, well his missing leg, I guess)

Once I sat up straight, the pain began to come back, but really vaguely. I blinked a few times and the pain faded slowly. The man looked at me with his concerned face. "take it slow now..." he mumbled. I gave him a feeble nod. There was no time to argue right now. I pushed myself of the bed and steadied myself against the spiel of the bunk bed, so I wouldn't fall that easily. The man had his hands out, in case I would fall. But what would an old man with one leg do? Catch me? That seems almost impossible.

I let the iron spiel lose and walked around. At least I didn't had a severe case of torticollis. (that's a condition where you lose your balance but I meant I sarcastic, of course I did.)

I gave the man a feeble smile and thought about that I hadn't thanked him yet. That was the last thing I could do. I hadn't spoken since I met that man in the forest. Not that I really felt the need to talk. "thanks" I managed to choke out. That sounded not so bad, I guess. "we now at least know that you can speak." The man joked. I rolled my eyes. But couldn't help myself to smile just a little.

The man got up and we left the prison cells. We walked outside the prison. It was so bright and the sun shined bright on my pale skin. I probably look white as snow with my pale skin. I closed my eyes and It felt great to be out in the sun again. It was really enjoyable and I could use some vitamin D.

I opened my eyes again and looked around the area. It was big, like really big. It was at least the same size as a soccer field, maybe even two. There was a field where they cropped vegetables and other foods like fruits. I could see two persons working in the field. It was burning hot I wondered how they kept it up.

There were also a few watchtowers, which was guarded by other people. the man told me that they kept watch in case danger was showed. Other people stood at the fences popping walkers trough them, so they wouldn't burst through the fences. According to him, he said that that happened a few times and that they nearly survived it. The man told a bit about the people around here. He told me that most people from around here came from a camp called 'Woodbury'. Like the people at the fences. I asked why they left Woodbury and the man explained that Woodbury was led by an cruel man, who caused several people to die. He said that he was evil and cold-hearted. He was even capable of killing innocent children and woman. He told me that the man showed up recently with an army. He wanted this prison and would do anything to get it. He even learned children how to shoot and after he invaded the prison and lost he just disappeared.

He said, that before the man left, that we would come back and declared 'war' to the prison. They haven't seen him for a couple of months. Some people from the main group looked for him, but they never seen him since.

He also told me about his group and how they got here and how a man called 'rick' was the leader, but according to the man, he went mental when his wife died, so there was a counsel formed to fill in his place.

The counsel consisted of almost all the people from the main group, as he told me. He said that Rick was the man that brought me here. He was hunting for some food and he said to the man, that he was chasing a deer when he found me.

He told me that Rick was a good man, but he just lost his way a little bit, just like his son. he told me that his son 'changed' after his mom died, but it wasn't in a good way. He became a bit of cold and he grew up way to fast. I can't blame him, you have to grow up fast, especially now. You can´t chicken out if there´s a walker standing in front of you. You need to shoot. But on the bright side, the man told me that, this was a place of 'hope' there were kids, just like I said! It was calm and they had built a safe haven for all the people from here. they tried to make things easier for the people. They hoped that people got more faith in the world and that everything happened for an reason. But it seemed that they were trying to distract the people to me.

He also told me about his thoughts about this world right now. Honestly I didn't really listen to him. I know, I should be polite and listen to him, but I got distracted by playing children in the distance. They stood by the fences and played tag. I sighed and my mouth formed into a little smile, while I was looking at it. I walked with the man passed a watchtower and I heard a light chuckle escaping his breath. Confused, I looked up. "what?" I asked confused. The man kept on walking and looked at me with a grin. "how stupid of me, I never fully introduced myself." He chuckled. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself. I accepted his offer in a polite way and I shook his hand. "I'm Hershel Greene. And you are?"

I sighed and looked away for a bit. "I'm Rosa- I err mean Rose. Rose parker" I stammered.

Rose. It sounds kinda bad-ass doesn't it? Rose Parker. Yeah pretty neat right?

"well _Rose Parker_, it's nice meeting you." He smirked. I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled.

After a moment of silent, questions came boiling up. "Are you gonna tell me, what's wrong with me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. The man gave me a confused look, but after a minute of thinking he seemed to understand.

"well, something has caused you to back-out. It caused you to lose your memory for a little while, but it'll come back eventually. For now you just have to take things slow and don't stress out, otherwise you faint from dizziness." He said, with an concerned face.

"so if the main group stays in cellblock C and the Woodbury group in cellblock D, why am I in C?" I asked again.

"Rick wanted to keep an eye on you himself and I could do the same, because of your health. You'll room will be next to Rick and his son, till they decide you can stay."

"hmmm." I hummed in understanding.

The kids were close now and Hershel gave me a sweet smile. I looked back at the kids and he snorted loud enough for me to hear. "you wanna meet them? I'm sure they're nice to you. Maybe you can be friends with them." Before I could even react, He beckoned a male teen over. I gave Hershel a pleading look, saying: do-I-have-to-do-this? He simply just smirked ignored my look.

The boy jogged over to Hershel and smiled. "this is Patrick, he's from cellblock D, I'm sure you like him." He whispered to me. "yeah right." I whispered back in a sarcastic tone. Okay Rose, do what you can do best. Observe. Nothing more but observe. Just like always, you don't talk you just simply listen. Only talk if they ask you something, just like you taught yourself. The boy reached us and spoke:

"hey Hershel, what's up?" he smiled.

I narrowed my eyes on him and analyzed him. He was kinda a dork. He was tall, maybe one and a half inches bigger than me. He wore big black glasses and had curly black hair. I immediately knew that he wouldn't hurt a fly. At least it seemed like it. His dark brown eyes had a little spark of brightness in it.

"This is Rose Parke. She just got here. why won't you make her feel comfortable here and ask her to come along with you and the other kids." Hershel spoke, friendly.

The boy looked at me, analyzed me, judging me. I could feel it. After a moment a smile crossed his face and said: "yeah sure you can come along." He said, smiling at me. I gave him an awkward smile back and crossed my arms. Suddenly I could feel an timid push against my fibula and looked back. It was Hershel's crutch trying to push me in the right direction. "come on kid why won't you go meet the others? I'll see you at dinnertime." I let out an a light annoyed sigh. I knew Hershel heard it, because he gave me a little encouraging wink.

After that the man left and I was left alone with 'Patrick'. He introduced himself properly and I did the same. Well I told him my name was Rose instead of Rosalie, but I don't really hurt anyone with that right? He walked with me to the other kids and they introduced themselves to. There were two little blond sisters. Lizzie was the oldest of the two and then you had Mika the youngest. Next to Mika stood a little boy with brown curly hair, whose name was Luke and a little dark brown haired girl named Molly. They were nice. But for the record 'nice' for me means completely harmless. These kids wouldn't hurt a fly just like Patrick. So yeah, they were ´nice´.

They told me about the things the usually did throughout the day. They kept themselves going by making fun and doing their homework. Just what I needed. The world went to hell and they try to make it better with homework. No thanks. Like the world isn't fallen to shit already. I'd rather eat a brick than make homework again.

Little Mika grabbed my sleeve and yanked it a bit to get my attention. I gave her a confused smile. "what?" I asked the little girl.

"are you coming to story time after dinner?" the sweet girl asked me with a cute smile and bright eyes.

"story time ?"I asked with a confused smile. "like a person reading to you?"

She smiled and nodded. The others were waiting for my answer and so did little Mika. My eyes darted back and forward and landed on Patrick´s.

I gave him a pleading look asking him to interfere, but he didn't seem to understand. I turned my look back on Mika and gave her a unsure smile.

"I err I don't know. Perhaps some other time." I smiled awkwardly, while fumbling my hands.

The kids immediately looked disappointed. It's not like I wanted to hurt them it's just nothing for me. I'm not five anymore. I'd rather read on my own. Than listen to some adult talking about a magic place. No thank you.

After a moment Patrick wanted me to see the rest of the prison, so we said our goodbyes to the other children and moved along. We walked towards the fields and we talked a bit. We actually had much in common which surprises me. We both liked comics and books and we both adored history stories. I'm glad I'd made a friend. Does a person you talk to count as a friend? well I like to think of that that way. I guess I'm not really the social type. I never was and I will never learn. Patrick suggested that we should sit down in the grass so I could sit down for a minute, because he noticed that my headache and dizziness was back. I sat down next to him and my headache began to fade again slowly. Luckily. I rubbed my temples to relax a little bit and it instantly worked. He talked a bit about his life in Woodbury and before that. Nothing special. And again I didn't pay attention. There are some serious concentration problems going on in my head. Meanwhile my thoughts drifted off again to an unknown place. After Patrick noticed that I wasn't listening to him and was just simply starring past him, he snapped me out of it.

"dude?" he said. No response from me.

"rose?" he asked a little bit louder now. Still now response.

"rose!" he said louder now, giving me a stomp on my shoulder.

"huh hmm what?" I said surprised and a bit confused.

He let out a loud chuckle. My face turned red from embarrassment and I wanted to stick my head under the ground.

"I was asked you something." He chuckled.

"what?" I asked with a confused smile.

"I was asking you, why you don't wanna come to story time. It's fun." He said me plucking some grass and throwing it away.

"story time is for kids." I smirked. "I'd rather read some books myself and I can't be the only one who doesn't go to story time right?" I said looking at the fields in front of us.

He sighed and looked around searching for something. I don't know what, but it surely looked like it. I swear I could hear some faint footsteps behind us. Or was I delusional which was not a new thing for me lately.

"hey Patrick?! I'm done helping my dad let's go-"the person stopped. I recognized the voice, but didn't where from. Like I heard it in a dream once. Patrick and I turned around and saw a boy standing. Well not really a boy, but more a teen. Probably the same age as me. He was at least one inch taller than me and had brown hair that almost reached over his eyes. He stopped talking and looked at us. He gave me a suspicious look. That almost looked right through my soul. "what?" Patrick asked. After a brief moment of looking at me he turned his attention back at Patrick.

"never mind." He mumbled. He was about to turn around and walk away. Patrick turned to me and said that he had to leave and that we would speak later on the day. He ran after the boy and called something towards him. I looked at them leaving and laughing. After they left I was alone again. Just as always.

**hopefully you like it!**

**please review, fave, read or PM me**

**till next time!**

**xxxxx ikimmilove**


	6. Chapter 6

**heeeey guys ^^ this'll be the longest chapter yet XD hopefully you like it! **

**for the reccord i'm following the story line of the beginning from season 4 **

**( disclaimer: i do not own TWD just my own character ^^)**

6

After a few days of being in the prison, everyone knew who I was. I didn't know if it meant positive or negative, but they knew my name. that's something, right? I didn't talked much though. I usually did the chores that carol told me to do. Main being: help the people popping walkers through the fences, help Carol making dinner for at least 40 people, or help cleaning or reloading the weapons. The last thing was probably the most fun chore to do. (as far you can call chores 'fun')

The people were nice, at least when I talked to them. But what I noticed was, most of them had a particular 'look' on their face when they talked to me. A look of pity, remorse, compassion. I knew that they felt sorry for me that I lost everything I can think of, but I don't need any pity for it. You can at least hide that 'look'. I don't want it to be an reminder every time I talk to someone. There were only a few persons that didn't gave me that 'look'. Which I'm really glad about. I don't need any of that. Most of the time I only talked when they asked me. Not the other way around. Like I said, I'm not really the social type when it comes to making friends.

After doing my chores, I would go up to my cell, lay down on the bed and read some comics. Yes, I'm 'that' kind of a girl and in 'that' I mean a fully complete dork who's completely In love with everything that that has something to do about comics and super heroes. As much I want to leave 'Rosalie' behind, I still couldn't leave it all behind.

Sometimes I would join Patrick and Carl (that weird kid with the hat) to play sports, like basketball or soccer, but I mainly did it because Patrick asked me so 'nicely' and he wouldn't shut up If gave him 'no' for an answer.

(usually the boy would stutter like hell and I would feel sorry for him so I joined, just to keep him shut)

But those times usually didn't end so well. Carl and I are not really that 'Sympatico'. He doesn't trust me. Which I can understand, but does he have to glare at me the whole entire time? I guess that's where my hostile side comes kicking in. lucky for him I wasn't much of a 'violent' person.

(pfff I could handle him with one hand on my back, even if he was bigger than me. Okay I probably could not, but wouldn't it be awesome?)

I would ask what his problem was and he would never reply and just simply glare at me , in which case I would leave, throwing the ball towards his direction. I don't think I've ever hit him, but my intentions were clearly set on it. (technically I didn't 'leave' it was more stomping instead of walking)

I could feel the stares of them burning in my back as I turned around the corner.

He did nothing than help his old man with farming on the fields. That was the only chore he had to do. Patrick on the other hand helped around with repairing broken things.

Today was nothing more than the same. I was woken up by Carol around six o'clock. With sleep in my eyes I sat up straight and looked around the room. I saw Carol standing at the doorpost. She had a bundle off clothes in her hands and smiled. For an person to be that happy that early morning, seemed almost suspicious, that It made me laugh a little. But as usual she didn't know what I was thinking that caused me to laugh.

She gave me an confused look and ignored It, knowing that she would never understand let alone hearing about it. She gave me the clothes and I looked through them.

"clothes?" I asked confused. She turned around and was about to leave white in a minute, because she had always a lot to do.

"yeah, I can't imagine how long you're walking in those clothes." She chuckled, while nudging towards my clothes I had on. It was simple, just as I liked it. my army green jeans with shred-up knee holes and a black tank top, topping it off with some old beat of once-red converse's that had holes in it. Yeah…. On that note, I could use some new clothes.

After carol left, I changed into my new clothes. A white crop-top and some white-washed jeans. I grabbed my new brown boots, put them on and laced them up. I grabbed my black leather jacket from the top bunk of my bed and pulled it on. I looked like a new person again.

They gave me a cell up the stairs next to Rick and Carl all the way up at the end. It was simple, but I managed to make it a comfortable place with flowers and candles etc. just kidding…. It had nothing more than an iron bunk bed and from one of the walls hung an old mirror. The only possession I had was my bag and some books and comic books scattered on the floor. Yeah, it was not the neatest cell.

My cell had one bucket of fresh water in it, in case the nights were too hot and I could wash my face.

I cupped my hands in the water and splashed some water in my face and also a bit on my arms. I rubbed my face and the dirt stains disappeared slowly. I looked human again. As much as 'human' you can be nowadays.

I brushed my hair with a black brush Maggie gave me. Every time I stung upon a knot or a tie, I bit my tongue a little bit, trying to brush it out. I tied my ash blond hair up in a high ponytail, so it wouldn't get in the way with doing stuff. It looked better anyway and the chance that a walker grabbed me was smaller. Survival the fittest right?

After I freshed myself up for the day, I left the prison to go to the courtyard, to get an apple to start of the day. It was a nice and bright day. Nothing can beat the beautiful hot Georgia weather. My day actually started off fine. I walked towards the courtyard and said 'good morning' to some passing people. I saw Carol making some breakfast for the people and I saw Daryl shaking Patrick's hands. What was that all about? As far as I knew, Daryl wasn't like that. Daryl was known for his bad-ass behavior around here. he hunted on the animals we ate. Deer, rabbit, squirrel and other animals you can find in the woods nearby the prison. I heard some rumors about him, but nothing special or anything. I never really talked to him, but he was one of the persons that didn't gave me that particular 'look' when he talked to me. I knew he knew. Everyone knew. It would surprise me if he didn't knew.

After he left, Patrick walked up to me. I was the first one to speak:

"what was that all about?" smirked, raising an eyebrow. His head turned red and he had an awkward smile on his face.

"I-I was just thanking mister Dixon about the deer he brought in yesterday it was a real treat." He smiled awkwardly. I couldn't help myself, but tease him a little bit. I still had some personality left from the old 'me'. There's nothing wrong with that right?

"mister Dixon? I never knew you were such an ass-kisser." I smirked, raising an eyebrow. I changed my position into an over exaggerated casual one. I crossed my arms and put my weight on my right hip.

As if his face couldn't get more red as it already was.

He let out an annoyed groan and glared at me as I understood, that he wanted me to back off. What a baby! Common if you can't handle one single joke from me, then you should re-think being friends with me. You're not supposed watch your mouth when you're with your friends. At least that's what I thought. That's just who I am. If you can't handle it then, don't talk to me. rolled my eyes and walked away. "fine suit yourself, dork." I scoffed as I walked passed him, not regretting one single word I said to him.

After I had some breakfast, I started off helping of by sweeping the concrete floor in the courtyard. I'll better make myself in-handy right? It was a nice morning. Not to hot and not to cold, just as I liked it. Some people passed by and greeted me. I just kindly smiled back and would carry on sweeping. I saw Patrick walking by, completely ignoring me. I couldn't help, but feel kinda guilty. I was thinking about what I said to Patrick earlier on in the morning. I guess I kinda hurt him. I'll apologize later on, I thought. He's my only friend and I don't want that to change. But I ain't changing the way I talk.

After half an hour Rick walked by and stopped after he saw me sweeping the floor in front of cellblock D. he walked up to me with big paces.

"hey kid, why won't you do some stuff with Carl and Patrick?" he said, with his hands on his hips.

"I donno, Carol told me to help out with the chores around here and I don't wanna make a wrong impression. " I said looking up from the floor. I had enough to do around here. I didn't want to make a wrong impression here. I just got here and I want to help the people around here, because they helped me. Not that sweeping the floor was fun, but it was probably more fun than talking to carl and Patrick, let alone making fun and hanging out with them.

"you can do that later. Why won't you go make some fun, I'll talk to Carol" he smiled. I hate it when people do this. You know you don't feel like it, but you can't actually say no, because it's not polite to say no to the person that brought you here in the first place. I let out a light sigh and thanked Rick for his offer, even though I didn't want to. I left to seek Patrick and Carl, against my will, leaving Rick behind.

I walked towards the field where they usually played soccer. I can't believe I'm doing this. This is so not me. like I said I wasn't really that social. I could snap sometimes, but that only happened when someone was getting on my nerves. Currently, everyone. And it happens to the best. I'm sure that the others around here had their moments too. It's human. It was normal. At least in my opinion.

I had only been one week here and some of my conscious came back, but not all of it. I can't remember what happened to my parents or to my brother and sister. but I can remember what life was like before this all started. The best thing, though was to forget it. I didn't want to remember it. Feelings and emotions only make things harder and more difficult. But I do miss someone being there for me. someone that loved me and took care of me. someone that was always glad to see me, even when times got though. I have to admit it. Not having a family was harder than I thought. I had to let it go. I need to push that thought of me. come on focus! You don't need family and you don't want it either!

I could see Patrick and Carl walking towards the field . I could hear them talking about some stuff I couldn't understand. Maybe I should catch up to them and talk to them, just like rick said. It wouldn't hurt to make a friend right? And I had to apologize to Patrick.

Sadly they were the only people from my age around here. but it had to do, I guess. I ran up to them, against my will.

I thought about it for an moment. And then yelled towards them. "hey! Wait up!"I called forward. With surprised faces they turned around and stopped walking. I ran up to them and stopped when I caught up to them.

"what are you guys doing?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Carl picks up a ball at his feet and puts it under his arm.

'well, my dad wants me to be a good kid and play, so we were playing some soccer out at the field." He tossed the ball at me and I caught it with ease, probably more with ease then he expected. His eyes started to narrow a little bit at me, like he was thinking about what to say next. "you can join if you want, but I don't think you can handle it. but then again I could use some real competition." It toke a good second to realize he means me. my eyebrows raised in surprise.

"oh really?" I smirked slightly. "is that so? Well I guess I'll just have to come since you guys are so desperate." I rolled my eyes dramatically and I heard Patrick chuckle a little bit. I pulled off my black leather jacket and threw it over a wooden barrel beside me.

"so, you think you can take me and Patrick?" carl asked. I chest the ball back to Carl and I can tell he was caught off guard. He caught the ball, but his eyes widen and he looked at me like he couldn't believe what I've just did. "I can take you."

I'm not sure why how the hell this conversation was coming to good to me, nor where my sudden burst of confidence came from. But I like it. It's better than not talking at all. The thing the 'old me' did. Me and Carl never talked that much, because he was always glaring at me, for like no reason. like I was a threat. The person I was, I would just simply glare back or ask what his problem was. So… yeah we didn't talked that often. But yet It feels like an everyday occurrence.

"wanna bet?" Carl's expression was dead set on mine now. The look of his face expressed he was up for an challenge. Every word he speaks is competitive and he's eager for his kind of interaction, while I knew Patrick was good and all, but I knew he wasn't really the assertive type- I didn't know I was either, but today I am.

"what am I gonna win?" I chuckled , crossing my arms and lifted my chin arrogant. Carl narrowed his eyes a bit more, like he was surprised about the way I acted. Maybe we could become friends after all. At least he didn't cared about the things the people said about me, because he was also one of the persons that didn't gave me the 'look'. And that's all I cared about. The other things I didn't care about.

(which surprised me to. Man I could get used to 'Rose' and totally forget about 'Rosalie')

He raised his eyebrows. "wow, really stepping out there." he smirked, shaking his head in disbelieve.

"why not?" I shrug. Patrick is just standing there, eyes darting back and forward at our argument.

"alright then," carl stepped forward to shake my hand. "winner has to take the other persons chores for the rest of the week."

I considered the deal and stretch my hand out to meet his hand. His hand was warm and dirty with mud as we shake on it. The dirt spreads to my hands. Well that's not gross at all, I thought sarcastically. I whipped my hand on my jeans and it left a little stain.

"it's a bet. But you'll be regretting this when I rub it in your face when your sweeping the concrete." I taunt him, in a read-to-fight kinda tone.

"oh it's on!" I hear Carl mutter and then, we all burst out sprinting to the field, without any previous discussion otherwise.

The sprint was hard and Carl and I were nearly tied , with Patrick at the back, probably something to do with his asthma. Carl threw the ball the ball ahead so he could run better. I speed up chasing after it and he's on my tail. My feet pound the concrete and pound softer as we got on the grass. Carl passed me for a moment and then I give one last big push and I get to the ball first. But then he stole it out from under my foot an instant later.

"I win." His smirk is a little bit arrogant and I made me laugh on the inside. Maybe he's not so bad at all and maybe I can even call this place 'home'. It's not that I have somewhere else to go. I know he was waiting for any sign of jealousy. He's a victor, but only for now. The game has yet to begin.

We wait for Patrick and he walks up a few minutes later, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. Carl and I exchange a serious glance as we both agree that Patrick should serve as a mediator instead of playing.

"maybe we can ask the other kids to play with us?" I ask, nodding towards the younger kids over by the fence.

Carl shrugs. "why not."

"bet's still on though." I reminded him.

"well duh, I'm not missing out on that kind of opportunity." He elbows me slightly, and I give him a shoulder bump back and we head over the other kids. Patrick catches up, he's breathing easy again.

As we got closer to the kids I could feel something was up. Something is very wrong here. the kids are near the fence laughing, at the walkers. Laughing. There isn't anything funny about a flesh eating monster. They kill and eat you family.

"Nick! Nick look over here!" lizzie shouts, while the others are laughing and cheering by the fence.

"hi Nick!" little Luke shouts and cheers. They're all happy and waving at the nearby walkers and it makes my gut drop.

"what the hell are they doing?" I mutter under my breath. Carl shakes his head slightly and he passed past me towards the fence. He still carried the ball under the opening of his arm. "you're naming them?" his eyebrows raises into disbelieve and the expression of 'annoyance' spreads on his face. And I can't say I really blame him.

Little Mika speaks up first, even though she's ten, you should know better than that.

"well, one of them had a nametag so, we thought all of them should." her innocent puppy face makes it even harder to be mad at her.

This is why it can't be this way. This is why we can't shelter them and ourselves from this. They start believing they aren't monsters anymore. That somehow, these brain dead freaks have regained some humanity even after passing. And it's absolutely ridiculous. Impossible. There are enough living humans without the humanity an morality in this.

they've gone cold along with the walkers. Soulless and impartial to who they kill and why.

We just live among the monsters now. Dead and alive. That's why sheltering is impossible, because you end up like this. Naming walkers. Unbelievable. I roll my tongue over my chapped, dry lips. I cross my arms uncomfortably and pop a disapproving hip.

Quickly he corrected Mika. "they had names when they were alive. They're dead now." he reminds her. I saw the other kids eyes droop, like he just screwed up their fun. Maybe even their day.

Lizzie is the next one to speak up, but her word makes it seem like he was the one that was wrong about all this. Like he was the 'sick' one. "no they're not." She shrugs one shoulder. "they are just different." There was no hesitation, no remark about she's saying. She really believed all the words she spoke. With all her heart. Not without any doubt possible.

Carl's eyes widen for a moment. "what the hell are you talking about? They don't talk, they don't think, they eat people. they kill people!" Patrick and I stood silently behind him, not moving a bit. Yep I've gone back to the 'old me'. the silent girl who didn't interfere and let other do the talking. Just like she did in the past.

Lizzie quickly counters him. "people kill people. still have names."

Carl lets out an angered sigh. I want to step in, but I just didn't know how. I just watch and occasionally looked at Patrick. It seems like he had the same mind flowing like me. And he didn't interfere either. Guess I wasn't the only one.

He goes on to ask Lizzie if she's watched the change. You know, where the people change into those horrible bastards. I can't remember what's it like to experience something like that. I mean I've seen horrible thing. I remember now some stuff I didn't want to know, but that's a part from all those things on my dark list, which I'm just trying to forget. And it's not like I know someone here that will make me remember those things.

Lizzie sets her jaw and her eyes go cold to carl's. "yeah. I have"

Carl still won't let up his lecture mode and I can see him breaking out into an explosion of anger. He knows this is wrong. I know that, and Patrick and I do so to. But it was getting out of hand. Really out of hand. "they aren't people, and they aren't pets, so don't name them." he lecutured them.

Ok, they've had enough. I nudged Patrick in the hope he would react, because I'm not really their friend. Not Carl's and not Lizzie's. and they wouldn't listen to me anyway. To them I'm just that girl with no back ground story who stays at cell block C. Patrick startled from his dreamy thoughts and pulls Carl away from the scene. "come on. Let's go." Patrick said, almost begging. Carl looks at us and then releases another sigh. "come on." I say quietly. He stares at me for another moment and then we leave.

We were walking when I suddenly stopped.

"hey uh, I'll see you in a bit. I have to take care of some things." I said to them, while putting my hands in my pocket.

"where to?" Patrick asks confused, while Carl gives me an suspicious look again.

"to the cellblocks. I'll uhm talk to you later, I guess." I mumbled. Taking my hands back out of my pockets.

Patrick nodded and Carl just looked at me. "I'll see you guys later at dinner."

I turned around and started to walk towards the cellblocks. I could feel the burning sting of a thousand questions coming from their direction.

**hopefully you like it ^^**

**please read, review, fave or PM it really means a lot to me! :)**

**xxx ikimmilove**


	7. Chapter 7

**hii guys ^^ so yes it's evening in the Neterlands and i'm off to bed pretty soon XD so this is my last upload for today. it's a real long one and wil introduce more characters and more info from her past :)**

**i'll finsh part 8 after i publish this one so i'll opload it tomorrow or saterday ^^ hopefully you like it!1**

**(disclaimer i don not own TWD just my own characters :))**

7

I jogged back towards the cells from cellblock C. I walked into the doors and everyone was being busy. Carol was walking around with occasionally some laundry and after five minutes a box of supplies. She kept walking and walking. That was all I could see her doing throughout the day. Carol was probably one of the busiest people around here. I felt like she was the one keeping the group together. She did all the laundry, she cooked and looked after all the children. She even went on supply runs if needed to. She was like the glue that kept the people together. She probably would do everything to keep them safe, even if it was giving her own life. I really admired her. She looked so strong and independent. I wish I was like that. But I was none of those things. I wasn't strong or independent. I tried to be. But trying for me isn't enough

I greeted her and walked up to a room that once was a prison cafeteria. It was dark and gloomy, just like everything else in this prison. Everything was gray. Gray. Gray. It wouldn't harm to pop a few colors around here. Not that there are still paint stores or hobby stores left. They were probably already looted. There were some few tables set up in the middle and they were made of gray steal. Again, gray. There were a few windows all the way above. They had gray steel bars in front of it, masking the bright daylight. And again, the color gray. I never knew I would life in a dark, gray, depressive prison. If my mom would be here right now, she'd probably freak out. Her little girl ended up in a prison. All alone and without her mommy. (can you smell the sarcasm?)

I saw Hershel and Beth (one of his daughters) sitting at one of those tables. Beth had her hands fold into a praying position and Hershel was reading from the bible. He always carried it with him. No wonder he was so wise. His family believed into god and all that nonsense. I once believed in that stuff too. My family and I always went to church on every Sunday. I was in a little catholic church choir and we sang every Sunday morning, while my family sat in church. I was so proud of myself when I sang I felt like I was important. You know, you were part of something.

And on every night my mom did the blessings, since I never knew my dad. My mom told me that he just left one day for work and never came back. After that my brother took the dad-like role upon himself and I bonded with him deeply. If you were fighting with me, you'd better pray I didn't tell my brother. I don't need to tell the details about it. I think you can figure that out yourself. wherever he was I was and wherever I was he was. Ever since my brother left for college I stopped believing in it. If god loved me so much he would make my dad come back or let my brother stay. It never happened. I waited for any sign and after a while I just stopped believing it completely.

I walked up to the table they were sitting at. Hershel stopped reading and gave me the same kind smile he would always gave me. You know that smile you give to a wounded puppy, but he was the one person who I could take it from. Beth opened her closed eyes and smiled at me. The Greenes were always so kind and sweet. Beth was his youngest daughter. She was always smiling and singing and brought everyone in a happy mood even if they were kinda lost. She took care of little baby Judith (Rick's little daughter) she became kinda her adoptive mother after her mom died. I can't imagine how she can pull it off. Beth was only eight-teen.

Hershel's oldest daughter was Maggie. She was also very nice and warmhearted. They all were. Maggie was married to Glenn. I've heard some things about them meeting after the outbreak. I never have thought that you could still find love in this hellhole. Let alone getting married. I'll never find love of any kind. Let's just be realistic. If I'm lucky, I'll stay alive till I'm five-teen. But let's not hope for that to happen. It probably won't anyway.

He beckoned me over and invited me to sit down with them. With a feeble smile I walked up to them. I sat down on the ice cold chair, made of steel. He laid down his bible and started talking to me, "you wanna join us?." He asked me, still smiling.

"sure why the hell not?" I mumbled, fumbling my hands. Shit. Why did I just said 'hell'. Hershel gave me a stern look and I quick apologized. "I-I uhm… I mean… never mind." I muttered, looking at the floor. "is this your first time?" Beth asked me clearly curious.

"it's been a while."I said reluctantly. The last time I remember I was still with my family. I can't remember how long that has been. I can't remember how happy I once was. Like it's just a vague dream and became a nightmare that never seemed to end . That It wouldn't stop. We used to pray every evening before dinner and when times got tough. (which was pretty often)

It was kinda a family thing. I remember mother muttering some blessings in front of the TV when she saw the broadcast of the beginning of the outbreak. I could hear her begging for mercy for her children and family. she was whispering about sacrificing herself so they wouldn't harm me. Everything but that. She would die rather than see me hurt. She was like that. Strong and independent, even though she was jacked up with drugs most of the time . she used every drug she could get her hands on. Not that It really bugged me. She was gone most of the time, except the day of the outbreak. Sometimes she would be gone for days, weeks even months, but somehow she always came back. Back for us, for me and my brother. So in that time it was just me and my 18-year-older brother Brandon. Praying became harder and harder because we both lost hope, faith and all our believing. so it has been a long time since I prayed. I never knew I would do it again without my broken and damaged family.

I gave them a feeble smile and turned my attention to Beth. She held out her hands so we could pray together. She smiled and her hand invited me to reach out to her so we could do this together. Together we folded our hands in a praying position. And I smiled at her and she kept smiling back. She was so nice and kind. She didn't acted like she cared about the people around here, she really did care about them. I talked to her a few times. Not really anything special, but it was nice to talk to another girl.

Hershel picked up the bible and flicked trough it. He was searching for the right page or psalm or verse, I don't care! He was looking for the right words and lines that soothed the moment. He was searching for hopeful words, like he always did and would. Words that kept us going, even though he was just reading for me and Beth, he would make sure that he read the right words.

After a minute of roughly flicking the pages he stopped and his eyes glanced over it very quickly, but really critically. He looked up and began to speak very calm, but very clearly. Beth and I closed our eyes and listen to his powerful an firm words.

_Therefore we do not lose heart. _

_Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. _

_For our light and momentary troubled are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. _

_So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen._

_For what is seen is temporary, but what Is unseen is eternal_

_Amen _

"amen." Beth and I said in unison. We opened our eyes again and my eyes took a second to adjust to the light. I sighed and my mouth curled up into a little smile. I never would've imagine that I missed it. Not the praying, but a gathering with people you love. Even though I didn't know these people very much, I began to slightly care about them. I didn't know them and they didn't know me, but Hershel and his people took me in like I was one of them. I didn't realize they cared about me until now.

I was grateful for the thing they had done for me. For example: rick saved me from the undead trying to get me, Hershel cared for me when I was in a unstable position, Patrick was the only good friend I had and I really trusted him, Carol cared for me like I was her daughter and made me feel at home and all the other people seemed nice though, even though I never really talked to them. I was lucky that that they seemed to trust me.

After praying with Hershel and his daughter, a thought slipped my mind as I watched Daryl take his stance at the watch towers. I've been here a while. Maybe for like a small week now and they shifted watch tower duty every day . I could do that! I've had it with sweeping, cleaning and cooking over and over again. I was eager to learn more and more about this prison and I could use some excitement. I would have to ask, but it had to be the right person to ask. Not someone was really moody or grumpy and a person without being that is hard to find around here. It had to be someone calm and/or someone who had time to listen. Well, it's not like I have a parent to tell me no. but it was smart to ask someone if I wanted to stay here, since they haven't decided whether or not I would stay.

Carol's head popped up and beckoned me over. Without any doubt I walked up to her. she walked towards the courtyard and mentioned me to follow. I followed her towards the courtyard and it was completely empty except for Patrick and Carl sitting at one of the tables and reading comics. Comics? Since when is that a thing anymore? I knew Patrick loved them just like me, but he said he lost them all a while ago, leaving him with nothing. I recognized them and my eyes widen. Were those mine?! No way in hell. Did they took mine comics. Even more worse, they were in _my_ cell! I felt my blood pumping faster and faster within a second. Then I snapped.

"what do you're doing?" I snapped almost sounding exasperated. Carol's eyed widen so did Patrick's and Carl's. they took my things, my belongings. The one things I love the most. One of the only traces left from the 'old me'. I recognized 'the queen's knight' that Patrick was holding and Carl holding one of my many Batman issues. Patrick eyebrows furrowed as his eyes hold the expression of confusedness. "what are you talking about?" he asked confused, putting it down on the courtyard table. "where did you get those?" I asked angrily.

I can't believe he is playing dumb! 'cause those are mine and I can't believe that they won't admit it, filthy thieves. Patrick looked at Carl for some back-up, but it was quiet for a moment before he could react. "Michonne brought them back on her run, why?" Carl said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

" 'cause those are-" I almost lost it when I felt a hand grabbing my shoulder. Surprised I looked into the stern eyes of Carol, clearly not amused with my stubborn and rude behavior. I instantly stopped talking and sighed irritated. She gave me a look and I knew I needed to shut my mouth before it could get out of hand.

"what she was gonna say was, that she'd love to read some if you're done, right Rose? But for now she's gonna help me do the dishes." on the last part she looked at me very calmly, but it sounded more demanding than asking. Her determinant eyes were locked on mine as she waited for me to answer 'nicely'. I sighed again, now more irritating than the last one. '' I mean yeah sure, whatever." I replied annoyed, shrugging one shoulder. Carol's hand left my shoulder and opened her mouth to talk again.

"now then come 'n we have work to do."

She walked towards the little counter at the courtyard facing the tables Patrick and Carl were sitting at. She handed me a gross, filthy and smelly red rag and turned on the tap. Slowly the sink filled with water from the creak outside of the prison. I knew, they managed to make an tube or some kind of canal from the creak outside of the prison towards the courtyard. I had to say that it was pretty smart of them. They were really trying to make the current situation easier.

When the sink was completely filled with water, Carol began to rinse of the dirty plates and other things like: pots and big spoons and stuff. They were the leftovers from this morning's breakfast. After rinsing off a plate she handed it to me so I could dry it off. It was quiet other than the Smalltalk from Patrick and Carl. My thoughts drifted away, just like they always would when it was silent. After a few minutes carol started talked, filling up the awkward silence.

"so uhm.. how are you liking it so far?" Carol asked, while rinsing of a big giant plate. I jumped up from my thoughts and looked at her.

"fine I guess." I replied shortly, turning my attention back at the plate she handed me and began to dry it off.

"must be hard being with people you don't know or trust." She answered simply and quick.

"what do you mean?" I asked confused, raising an eyebrow, lying down the plate and crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"come 'n sweetie, it's in your eyes every time you look at one of us, it's not that it's a wrong thing to do. Hell, I think it's the best you can do, but these people are not gonna hurt you. If they wanted too, they would've done it a long time ago."

She was right, but it was not that I didn't trusted them at all, it's just that I'm cautious and take precautions , just to be sure.

"I trust you. Do you trust me?" I asked calm and clear, waiting for an clear answer. Might as well, wanna hear it now, before I start caring for them. I could hear her struggle scraping up some words to say, because an awkward silence fell. Just what I expected.

"I trust you. And I think everyone does. Only some people have a harder time to except new people." she said with a half-smile at the begin of the sentence and with a serious one at the end.

"like Daryl and Carl right?" I asked simply, remembering they weren't too happy with my arrival.

"Daryl can be an ass sometimes, but if you really get to know him, he isn't so bad after all. And for Carl, he's just having some troubles with everything, he's been through a lot more than the most people around here." she said, scrubbing another new plate. I stared at Patrick and Carl, who were still reading the same comics. then I remembered thinking about asking someone about me taking watch duty at the towers. Carol seemed the person I needed. She would let me go right? They could use all the help I could give to them.

"so I was thinking.." I started talking slow and cautious. Carol looked up again and a confuse look appeared on her face.

" 'bout what?" she asked me curious.

"I was thinking about.. I mean you could use all the help right?" Carol's eyebrows furrowed more and more and curiosity was taking her over.

" what are you talking 'bout? Come 'n spill it out!" she said more curious now, almost sounding irritated.

"I noticed Daryl having watch duty today, so I thought I could help with that, I'm a good shot." I finally said very determinant. Carol's eyes widen and she put down the pot she was washing of.

"I don't know….I don't think-" I immediately caught her off.

"come 'n you need the help and I know for sure that I can do it! I'm not a little kid anymore!" I replied loud, almost snapping. I immediately caught the attention from Patrick and Carl, who looked surprised at me. she hushed me, so I wouldn't draw any attention from the others.

"look, why won't you go talk to Daryl or so 'bout that, it's not up to me. I'm not deciding over this."

I let out an loud irritated groan. Daryl would never let me go, because every time another kid would ask, he ignored it and said no. God, I'm screwed. Speaking of the devil,

Daryl stomped by, swinging his crossbow over his right shoulder. He walked up straight towards Carol and me with an expression of annoyance on his face. Man he seemed pissed off. Just what I needed. Another fucking annoyed person.

Carol turned her attention towards a fuming Daryl and stopped scrubbing off a plate. She gripped the counter with her hands supported her weight.

"what's up?" she asked the hunter sweet and calm. He reached us and stood in front of the counter. His anger was clearly filling the air. The atmosphere became tensed and something was very wrong.

"those fuckin' bastards keep pillin' themselves up by them fences.." he said , almost smacking a mug from the counter.

"how the hell is that possible?!" Carol's eyebrows knitted together and she crossed her arms.

"somethin' is drawin' them towards them fences." He replied angrily. Carol sighed irritated and rubbed her temples so she can think up with something. But noting came.

"so what now? We can't just ignore it." She sighed.

" we can put some of them logs against them fences and more people can keep watch, I guess." The hunter said, while putting his hands on his hips.

"who do you think are supposed to go on watch. Rick ain't hundred present, Maggie and Glenn go almost every night, Hershel can barely walk, Michonne came recently back from a run and Beth takes care of Judith" Carol replied. .

"what about the people from D?" Daryl asked, shrugging his shoulders.

" most of them never learned how to shoot."

" governor never taught them?" he said, almost sounding sarcastic. This could be a good time for me to jump in. they need my help and I'll give it to them.

"I can help, I'm a good shot." I said looking at Daryl. Surprised and confused he looked at me. I swung the dirty rag over my right shoulder and popped an confident hip. Daryl hesitated before he answered.

"I don't know kid, why won't you go to story-time or somethin' this is adult stuff."

"oh please, we all know that's bullshit." I cursed irritated.

Daryl eyes widen at my comment, but I wasn't done with my lecture mode.

"you need me, if you like it or not. I'm not a little kid anymore. I never was and you people can't stop me and I would rather eat a brick than go to fuckin' story-time!" I said loud, almost sounding exasperated. Wow if my brother or any relative was here now, they would make me eat a bar of soap.

"I'll make a deal… if you go to story-time after dinner with the other kids and be a kid for once, than you can go on watch duty tonight. Deal?" Carol said, raising an eyebrow and sticking out her hand to shake on it.

"deal." I said firmly, shaking her hand.

"carol are you fuckin' crazy?!"Daryl asked angrily.

"you need the help, Daryl." Carol replied with a slight smirk appearing on her face.

Daryl's eyes darted between me and Carol for a few seconds and sighed, finally giving in. yes! I did it. If it takes to go to that stupid kid thing than it's worth for me!

"fine. But you're not doin' it alone. I'll find someone who can join you. Otherwise that little deal of yours is over. Get it?"

I nodded in agreement and a little grin appeared on my face.

"thanks, dude." I smirked, placing my hands on my hips.

"don't need to suck up, blondie." He replied, rolling his eyes at me.

And after that he left, stomping towards the D block. I turned my look towards Carol and grinned.

"thanks Carol." I said smiling. She returned my smiled and scrubbed off the last plate.

"no problem, you're right, kids need to start to defend themselves and the prison it's important. But being a child is important too, because it can be over in seconds. If I were you, I would embrace those opportunity's and take them, before it's too late." She adds after giving me the last plate and I rubbed it dry.

"let's wrap it up, we're done why won't you go relax a little bit we'll have dinner in a bit."

I nodded in agreement and I left towards my cell.

**hopefully you liked it!:)))**

**please read, review, fave or PM me it really means a lot to me!**

**xxx ikimmilove**


	8. Chapter 8

**heey guys ^-^ here's another chapter ^-^ **

**so i have a question for you XD i wondered if you wanted some romances XD so yes, please answer in the reviews because,**

**i'd like to know. do you want me to make new a character that would join them or romances in the current group please let me know**

**that would mean a lot to me**

**enjoy!**

**(disclaimer: i do not own TWD just my characters)**

8

We ate dinner at six pm after a long day of hard work. Most of the usual tension was gone. You know, due the fact people all around the world are probably dying a horrible death, but other than that it was manageable. and manageable to say the least.

Dinner was not really that interesting. It took me a while to realize some manners weren't applied any more. The sound of people scrunching their food made me hurl. Call me a prude or anything like that, but it grosses me out when I hear people smacking. It always did even since I was a kid. My brother was a champion at annoying the crap out of me. He knew just what to do to take me to my edge and eventually I would flip out. It's like, annoying me was his job to do and he was pretty damn good at it.

He would make these horrible eating sounds and it sounded like, a walker ripping al the flesh of your bones. Muscle by muscle ripping it apart. If my mom was home (which was very rarely) she'd smack him on the arm or face and he would stop, but after she'd left to the kitchen he would start again. Not to mention he was eight-teen. Yeah, he was real charming, mature guy. I really have to confess that I really miss my older brother. He was there when my parents were out of the picture and cared for me when I was in a rather dark place and I'll give that dark place a silent treat until the grim keeper comes and takes my life. I never liked talking about it, so why would I do it now? Just because the world went to shit doesn't mean my life gets a chance to lay all its secrets out on the table. If they knew, The way they'd look at me would completely change.

Suddenly a real 'fun' deal with Carol dragged me out of my dreamy thoughts. Yes, I promised her to go to story time. And yes, even though anything lame enough to be called story time does not deserve presence, I'd still made a promise. And a promise is a promise. Parker's don't break promises. Ever. That's what my family taught me. what was left of it, I guess,

So yes, I did go to story time. Just as I promised. It was in the old prison library and it was one of the least depressive rooms of all. Cute little kids drawings were pinned up on the gray concrete walls. It made the prison look less depressive. I found Carol in the library. She was reading the kids Moby dick, she didn't noticed me at first, but when I took a step closer they all looked up and looked at me. I received some happy smiles from the children and Carol.

Little Mika nudged her older sister and whispered something to her. "I knew she would come." I could hear her whisper. I smiled and sat down next to the girls. Let the hell begin, I thought rolling my eyes secretly.

Mr. Samuels, which was Lizzie and Mika's father, smiled at the girls and exchanged looks with Carol. Carol gave him a nod, telling it's okay to leave, that she would take care of the children.

After Mr. Samuels left carol closed her book and Luke asked if he should go take watch. Take watch for what? I thought they didn't let kids take watch. Luke passed by and stood by the door. Like a watch dog at an old abandoned dump. With an confused look I focused on Carol again. What the hell was going on? I don't quite get this. She turns around and grabs a box.

Suddenly Patrick stands up. His face was white as snow and he didn't look so well. "ma'am I'm not feeling well, may I be dismissed?"

"Patrick," Carol draws her lips together with disapproval. "just because we don't feel so well, doesn't mean the world stops being dangerous. We have to push through."

"with all due respect ma'am, I don't wanna yack on anyone." Patrick's white face turned a little bit of red, as the kids around him scooted over, hoping that he wouldn't throw up on them. Carol nods and Patrick gets up and rushed off, not paying us any mind,

"Rose, why won't you go check on him, he doesn't look so well. Maybe you can help him."

"yes, ma'am" I nodded in agreement and rushed off, but I stopped when I saw something hidden behind the bookshelf's. it was Carl crouched behind the shelf's. he was spying on Carol and the children. I was right! something very was off here. He startled a little bit when he saw me, but he instantly relaxed when he noticed it was me. of course, who would be scared of me.

_'__what are you doing here?' _I mouthed to Carl.

'_I'll tell you later, go to Patrick' he mouthed back. _

I rolled my eyes and took off after Patrick, leaving the others behind. I'll guess I find out later. Now I need to focus on Patrick.

_we need to take care of each other, _my brother's voice ringed out in my mind. The voice was right, we need to take care of each other. It's the only thing that matters now. If someone's sick we need to take care of them.

I jogged towards cellblock D and I passed some people, but none of them had seen Patrick. while I was jogging I looked around hoping to see that long, lean, dorky kid who loves reading comic books and can't stop talking about them. Hopefully he feels better when I find him .

I saw Karin from cellblock D leaning against the wall and looking at a peaceful sunset.

I walked up to her, in the hope she would tell me where he went.

"hey uhm, Karin is it right?" I spoke up, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"yeah, Rose the new cellblock C girl right?" she replied smiling.

"yeah uhm, I was wondering, have you seen Patrick around here?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"he's in the D block. He just walked by, why?" she smiled confused.

" well uhm, I need to ask him somethin' " I lied, looking at my feet.

"I think he's in his cell." she replied, smiling.

"okay, thanks." I replied absent and rushed my way to the cellblock. I could hear someone loud coughing at the end of the cellblock. Slowly I walked towards Patrick's cellblock and the coughs became louder. The coughs came from his direction.

I got to Patrick's cell and moved back the curtains. As quiet as I could I walked in.

It looked like he didn't noticed me or at least pretended he didn't see me. he held an old rag in front of his mouth where he occasionally coughed into. He seemed really sick. This wasn't a usual flu and it didn't seemed like he had a usual cold. He was genuinely real sick. He was a white as paper, his face was overloaded with sweat and his eyes were red and puffy. His shirt was drained with sweat and he let out horrible coughs and groans.

He sat on the edge of his bed with his head down. He murmured something I couldn't understand and looked up fo a moment before he let his head down again. I hesitated before I made a discussion. Did he needed my help or was I just a waist of breath to him. I sat down next to him and looked at him.

"let me have a look at you." I said lifting up his head. He looked even worse from up close. His skin was burning hot just like a furnace, his eyes were red and bloodied. His eyes were locked on mine and it felt like he wasn't breaking his gaze. He pulled away his face in argument and coughed into his rag again.

"Patrick, I can't help ya if you don't let me." I chastises him. He ran his hands through his dark curly and sweaty hair.

"I'm fine. I really am. I just need some sleep and it'll be alright, okay? I really appreciate the help and all but it's just a flew or a cold or something." He said between the coughs. He was clearly not okay and he knows it and we both knew we couldn't deny it.

I raised my hand to help him while he was struggling to keep his sweaty hair from his face.

"Patrick you're not okay and I just wanna he-" suddenly he caught me off and smacked my hand away.

"Rose please, I just need some sleep. I'll be fine!" he stated very determinant. Surprised and a little bit angry I and pulled back my hand. I gave him a confused gaze and stayed silent for a minute. Okay, maybe I was overreacting, maybe he had just the flu and he had a weird reaction to it. Or maybe he has an allergy reaction to something, considering the fact he had some. He told me he had some a few days ago. Very recently. I already forgot about them, but I knew he had some.

He was right. I should leave him alone so he could sleep and rest. Maybe he would feel better in the morning. It would be more affective then if I would stay and keep him up.

"okay, but you'll rest and nothing else. I'll check on you tomorrow morning after I'm done taking watch. But you have to promise me to go to sleep. Okay?" I informed him very clearly, which sounded more like lecturing.

"yes ma'am." He chuckled briefly, while he faked saluted with his weak and shaky arm.

I stood up from the bed and walked up to the curtain. Before I left I turned around and give him one last look before I left.

"I'll see you in the morning okay?" I asked for more insurance, like it was asking him to last the night. Like he would die right away. But I knew I was overreacting and he was probably just fine. And he will be there in the morning. Maybe not at the breakfast table but at least alive in his cell.

He gave me one last looked and gave me a feeble shaky smile which I returned and after that I left his cell. As I was walking away, his loud coughs echoed through-out cellblock. It made me think if I did the right thing leaving him. Deep in my conscious I felt a emotion known as guilt. As fast as I could I pushed this emotion out of my mind. I had to focus on something else. Something very important. To me at least it was. I had to focus on taking watch duty tonight.

**sooo that was it for another chapter hopefully you like it. :) **

**in the next chapter you'll find out what exactly happend to her and her mom and brother. **

**i'm planning biiiggg things. she has to face a person from her past how will she react? XD**

**ow and** **who do you want her to join in the tower? **

**please feel free to, read, fave, review or PM me :)**

**next chapter will be up soon either today or tommorow**

**xxxxxx ikimmilove**


	9. Chapter 9

**heeeeeeey guyssss**

**goooddd i'm soo sorry i've had no wifi for two intire weeks (i know poor me XD hahaha)**

**i also had a exame week (means a full week of studying and taking test ;-;) **

**and i had a sever case of writersblock. meeeeeh ;-; so i mad an extra long chapter for u ^^ **

**sorry for the long wait it won't happen again**

**(disclaimer i do not own twd just my own characters :)) **

**enjoy :)**

9

Define protection.

Protection used to be the militaries or the policemen or the firemen. We all knew what they did. What their job was. They were educated so they would be able to help the ones in need. If it was a case of fire, they'd protected the people with preventing them from going up in flames. The police, protected you from all the criminality, all the wrong things. They taught you the morality of right and wrong. If a war broke out, the military was the first one in line to protect all the civilians, even if the prize they had to pay was giving their own life. They all risked their life's so you could life. So you could make something of your life and not waist every single bit of it.

But now, it has changed. There were no police man. There were no fireman. There was no military anymore. Everything was gone. So did most of the civilians they had to protect.

But the morality remained the same. Without protection from others or yourself, your walls break. And they will. without that protection you'll die. It can physically break you down, but also mentally.

And without no one to protect, how would you protect yourself?

I rushed my way up to cellblock C. Dawn was setting in the south-west and the sky was filled with pinks, purples, oranges, reds and yellows. It would be just matter of time, until the sun was down.

Sometimes if it was quiet, I thought about the meaning of dawn to me. most people did not care about dawn. For them it was more of a mortification, because dawn was a sign of darkness. Which means, less sight, more walkers, and coldness setting in. To me it was, knowing that I lasted another day without dying or more suffering. Then it would be, survive the night and after that another day. Then do it again and again, until the end. Until there's no dawn to be seen anymore. Until the darkness comes setting in.

_Enough admiring the sky, Rose._

I wandered into the cellblock and most of it was completely empty. Some people where on runs, risking their life's for the people so they could eat and last another day.

Michonne was getting ready for her hunt on the governor, again. She just got back from her recently hunt, but with no results. She was clearly not done with him yet. You could see the rage and anger in her expression. It was there every time I looked at her. Not that I paid much attention to her. but when I did, it was there.

Michonne was really involved with the hunts and runs. However, if it was something personal, she would slowly fade in the background. So if you were thinking why I noticed these things in such a short time, like I said, I observe. You would be amazed by the things you pick up if you pay attention a little longer and more attentively.

For example, yesterday I heard Mr. Davidson talking to Mrs. Periwinkle. Yes, I know what you're thinking. 'what the hell are you thinking Rosalie? You do not eavesdrop on people! it's not very polite' I know it isn't, but killing people is?

They were bickering about who took Mrs. Periwinkles golden watch. She accused him. Mr. Davidson was nice, but there was something odd about him. He gave me a very creepy vibe, almost a bit sinister.

They kept fighting until a guy (whose name I don't know) jumped in between them. It was a young fellow. He had blond dirty hair and was around the same age as my brother.

_Stop! You need to stop it! _My mind roared through my head. _Stop thinking about your brother, family. They're dead. Gone. For once be realistic! _

I closed my eyes and roughly dug my palms into my skull. Why do these voices keep bugging me? I've had enough already!

I squeezed my eyes tight until little white stars flickered up and dizziness struck like a lightning bolt through my skull, almost splitting it.

I opened my eyes again and felt Michonne´s gaze. For a second we meet eyes, but then I walked away towards my cell. the headaches and the dizziness became less painful with the days. Hard noises didn't seem so loud anymore and bright light didn't sting as much as they used to.

I pushed the curtains back and walked in. A dirty sweater laid on the cold concrete floor together with a few old books, socks and a deeply stained dark blue t-shirt. I stepped over the pile of dirty clothes mixed with books to reach my bag. I zipped it open and dropped it on my bed. I grabbed some stuff that were mostly spread on the ground. I grabbed a book, that dirty sweater and a bottle of water that was on the shelf above my bed. Again I jumped over the remaining pile of crap and sat down on my bed. The bag was mostly full with the stuff that were already in it. I never really felt like cleaning in. besides if something happens, it's better to already have a bag ready beside you, so it could safe some time. In a rush I filled my bag and swung it over my back. I grabbed a flashlight from the same shelf above my bed and walked out of my cell. I walked towards the place where they stacked the weapons. It was near the cafeteria, on the left side of cell-block C.

Most people were already in their cells. Even though cellblock C was completely crowed, it still remained quietness and peacefulness. I passed a few people including Carol and Sasha. They said a friendly 'hello' and I gave them a friendly smile back.

_'__Not much of a talker are ya?'_

'Nope not really'

_'__figured'_

I entered the weaponry and looked around. My eyes widen at the amazing collection of weapons and other stuff. I was quiet impressed. Where did they got all this stuff? Doesn't look like they bought at the supermarket down the block. (yes that was a sarcastic remark) The place was stacked full with all kinds of weapons. Rifles, shotguns, big knifes, small knifes and oohh…. ammo lot of ammo. I felt like an overly happy adolescent on her last day of school. My heart was filled with pure excitement. Yes, these things could kill people. And even though I never killed a person, I knew these things weren't toys. My brother taught me well enough to know how to handle them, but as a kid I was always fascinated by weapons and other artifacts that had to do with it. I might not looked like it, but my interests as a child weren't not girly or feminine at all. I looked around the room and my eyes fell upon a medium sized rifle. Not too big not too small. it's butt was mahogany brown and the whole thing seemed brand new. It was on one of the top shelves. It was probably too high for me to grab, but I could always try. I tended to walk up to it when a person brought me back to from my drift.

"hey kid, what'cha doing here?" a deep scruffy male voice asked, curiously.

I jolted by his comment and turned around to see Tyreese standing at the doorpost. His body almost covered the rest of the door entrance and a huge shadow formed in front of him on the prison floor.

"I uh- I needed a gun." I said, still a little startled by his recent sudden comment.

"what for?" he asked furrowing his eyebrow in confusing. He crossed his arms and waited for my response.

"watch duty tonight." I said as simply as possible.

"Rick knows?" he asked, still with furrowed eyebrows.

"I donno, I guess not. I've made a deal with Carol and Daryl knows about it I guess." I tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. A light sigh escaped Tyreese's mouth and opened it to speak again.

"need some help with that?" he pointed towards the rifle on the top shelve.

My mouth curled up into a light, nonchalantly grin and nodded eagerly.

He grabbed a chair and put it against the wall. While he was trying to get the rifle, I filled my bag with enough ammo to last about a week. All of them were different rounds. I zipped up the bag and Tyreese managed to get the rifle from the top shelve. He handed me the gun and gave me a serious look.

"I hope you're not lying 'bout this. You know kids aren't really allowed to-" he stopped talking when I groaned annoyed.

"yeah, yeah I know. It's not like I've heard this the first time." I sighed, while rolling my eyes dramatically. He gave me an amused look and I sheepishly grinned back.

"okay well then, run along and good luck, kid." He said still amused while shaking his head. I thanked him for helping me and left the stack room.

I walked outside and the sky was dark blue. There were no stars tonight just a bright moon. The air smelled fresh. Not so much like dead or filth, but more like trees and evening dew. It was quite chilly, but not cold. Just a light breeze blowing in my face once in a while. I walked through the wet grass towards an empty watchtower. It was huge. Certainly a few feet high. Walkers stood near the fences and grabbed and shoke them. Ha! Suckers!

I entered the watchtower and dropped my junk on the white matrass on the steal floor. A red and white squared blanket covered most of the whole thing and a little pillow was stuffed up in the corner. I sighed and starred into distance for a sec. this is gonna be a long night full of silence and loneliness. I set my rifle against the wall next to the matrass. I dropped myself along the wall and crossed my arms. Luckily I brought some books with me so I wouldn't die from boredom. I grabbed my bag and opened it. I emptied the bag on the matrass. I looked at the small pile of my belongings and grabbed three books. A smile embedded my face when I looked at one of them. I put down the other two back on the matrass. Old memories came up as my hand gently touched the cover. It had a dark, wine red cover and a picture of the mysterious eyes of the 'Mona Lisa' were in the middle. 'the Davici Code'. Yes, one of the best written books, at least in my opinion. The adventure, the violence and the history. All the best things combined in one book. I remember reading this book at age nine. I remember it to be so difficult, but I could never stop reading it. It was so tensive and so sinister. I had no clue I had a great big smile on my face. My heart was filled with warmth and good old memories. I flipped through the pages and chuckled silently. It had no clue I still had it! Next time I need to remember to clean up my bag or at least open it.

I pulled my knees to my chest and started reading it again. If I'm right this should be the 4th time in a row.

_Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of_

_the museum's Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he could see,_

_a Caravaggio. Grabbing the gilded frame, the seventy-six-year-old man_

_heaved the masterpiece toward himself until it tore from the wall and Saunière_

_collapsed backward in a heap beneath the canvas._

_As he had anticipated, a thundering iron gate fell nearby, barricading the_

_entrance to the suite. The parquet floor shook. Far off, an alarm began to ring._

_The curator lay a moment, gasping for breath, taking stock. I am still alive. He_

_crawled out from under the canvas and scanned the cavernous space for_

_someplace to hide._

_A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move."_

_On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly._

_Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of_

_his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghostpale_

_skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils. The_

_albino drew a pistol from his coat and aimed the barrel through the bars,_

_directly at the curator. "You should not have run." His accent was not easy to_

_place. "Now tell me where it is."_

_"I told you already," the curator stammered, kneeling defenseless on the floor_

_of the gallery. "I have no idea what you are talking about!"_

_"You are lying." The man stared at him, perfectly immobile except for the glint_

_in his ghostly eyes. "You and your brethren possess something that is not_

_yours."_

_The curator felt a surge of adrenaline. How could he possibly know this?_

_"Tonight the rightful guardians will be restored. Tell me where it is hidden, and_

_you will live." The man leveled his gun at the curator's head. "Is it a secret_

_you will die for?"_

suddenly I heard light footsteps and they sounded dangerously close. It sounded like they were coming from the towers stars. Slowly put my book at my side and stuffed it under my pillow. 's_hit' _ was the first thing that popped my mind. I sneaked towards the rifle against wall and grabbed it. The magazine was full. I flicked the safety off and looked at the shadow reflected on the floor.

"one step closer and I'll blow your brains out." I hissed determinant of my choice of words.

**sooo yessss that's it again XD **

**you can still decide who you want her to join in the watch tower:) **

**the more reviews the more motivated i get :D **

**i'll post as soon as i get some more reviews so i can make everyone happy! :D**

**so please review,fave,read or PM me it means a loooott to meeee ;)**

**xxxxxx ****ikimmilove**


	10. Chapter 10

**heeyyy guys **

**so yeah i'll be more updating now, because it's Christmas break (in the Netherlands XD) **

**i actually wanted to post this chapter yesterday and i finished it around 1:30 am so i was really tired **

**i thought i really needed to update this, but then...**

**again i had no wifi so i'm at my friends house trying to update XD hopefully you like it **

**it's more intense and more personal as usual. i also put some of my own intresses in this chapter XD **

**you'll see :)))**

**(i do not own twd just my occ)**

10

Fear.

Have you ever experienced fear in greater states? Well it surprises me if you haven't.

At one point in our life we have to face those fears we're afraid of, otherwise it'll drag you down into the deepest, darkest place until you hit rock bottom. For some people it's already too late, it already happened. The people with the brightest eyes, have now dimmed. The people with the lightest heart, are the ones that are cold now, they're distance and/or cruel. But that's become pretty common around here. Especially knowing what kind of things people been through.

Sometimes I'm afraid, but I decided to not let it take over my life. It's okay to be afraid, but don't let that fear dictate who you are, or change what you can become,

Because there's no coming back once you hit rock bottom.

It was silent. The only sound was my shaky and uneasy breath. with my complete concentration, I watched as the shadow stopped walking. Nothing happened.

I held my gun I front of me and let my finger slide to the trigger slightly pulling it, but not enough to fire it.

Still nothing happened.

"turn around and leave." I hissed towards the shadow, sounding as calm but dangerous as planned.

Still nothing happened.

I closed one eye and with my other eye I looked through the rifle's scope and lifted my gun more.

Still the shadow wouldn't move from its position.

My finger curled more around the trigger almost pulling it. But not yet. I waited fo a reply, but none came.

"you have me at gun point haven't you?" a familiar guy voice asked.

"why won't you come see for yourself?" I replied more defiant than planned to.

I heard a light chuckle, before Carl stepped in the watch tower. A part of me was relieved, but the other part of me was still tensed.

My rifle was still pointed at his head, as I forgot to lower it.

"figured." he grinned looking from the rifle and then back at me.

I rolled my eyes and lowered my gun again.

"what 'r you doin' here?" I asked, setting the rifle back against the wall and turning back around.

He swung his orange backpack on the matrass besides mine.

"my dad asked me to take watch with you, because you had some kind of deal with Daryl." He said while dropping himself on the matrass.

"so he asked you? I thought they didn't let kids on watch?" I asked, also sitting down on my own matrass.

"well, they'd figure you could use some company of your own age. Besides you're not thinking that they'd let you do it alone, right?" he asked me part jokingly and part serious.

He was right, they would never let me do it by myself. Besides I wouldn't know if I could keep my eyes open all night.

"so we'll shift then?" I asked while grabbing my book from underneath my pillow.

"yep, I'll wake you at four. I need to help my dad out in the morning so that would be easier." He replied looking at his watch and then back at me. I nodded and opened my book 'the Da Vinci Code' from earlier on again.

I flicked it through until I was on the right page again. I moved my legs back on the matrass and leaned against the wall, with a pillow caught between it. I looked up from my book and saw Carl emptying the content of his bag on the matrass. A few boxes of ammo and a few issues of 'The new Adventures' were mixed-up on his matrass.

I turned my attention back to my book as it was more interesting then to see Carl struggle to take his shoes off.

I suppressed a laugh as I heard a small thud and a small annoyed groan afterwards.

I heard some silent shifting and after a while it was quiet. My attention was still remained at my book.

Minutes passed by as we both were reading and none of us felt the need of talking.

The only sound was the sound of flicking pages every once in a while.

Symbols of Italian art kept flowing through my mind as I was trying to solve the riddles and puzzles again, even though I'd already read it a few times.

I'd never been to Italy before. I'd seen some pictures and from the look of it, it must be very pretty. Even though I never went there, I was really intrigued by all the art works at the museums. My art teacher had a few faux paintings of the most famous artists of the world, most of them from Italy and Holland, Like: 'girl with a pearl' also referred as "the Dutch Mona Lisa." And 'the last supper' made by the man itself, Leonardo Da Vinci. And my favorite of all…. 'Night Watch' made by a Dutch artist named Rembrandt van Rijn. It was so big, they actually had to cut off a part so it would fit in the museum. It was a busy painting and you never knew where to look. Do I sound like a geek? Probably.

I guess my love for art will never vanish.

"you know, people start to wonder where you're from and stuff." Carl sudden comment caught me off guard. I looked up from my book and slightly closed it.

"why?" I asked confused. I never knew that the people around her took much notice of me.

"well, you don't talk much you just… stare. Are you a serial killer or something?" He asked the last part jokingly. I chuckled sarcastically and closed my book.

"yeah, you got me. I'll probably kill you in your sleep tonight." I teased sarcastically, while putting my book next to me.

"and while I'm on it, why not kill everyone at D?"

He shook his head amused and flicked another page from his comic.

"No I'm serious, why are you here and not with your parents or something?" he asked, raising his eyebrow and laying his comic down.

His question hit me right through my soul. I immediately felt 'that' guilt again. Deep in my gut I knew I could never suppress that guilt. I could never forget what I've done, let alone forgive myself.

"It's rather complicated." I replied coldly, looking away.

Seconds passed by as he realized what I meant and spoke again,

"oh, that's sucks" he said pretty sincere. He brushed his hair away in front of his eyes and looked at me.

"don't mention it." I said nonchalantly.

I looked back up and smiled slightly.

"Macon. Macon Georgia, that's where I'm from. That's what you wanted to know right?" I asked raising an eyebrow and smirked slightly.

"that's like five days from here right?" he asked me tilting his head a little bit and furrowing his eyebrows.

"yeah, but I feels like months away." I sighed slightly sounding a bit sad.

"why did you leave Macon?" he asked confused.

"It got overrun, just like most of the towns." I replied shrugging my shoulders.

I stretched and yawned pretty bulky and blinked my eyes a few times. My eyes felt heavy with sleep and rubbed my eyes as I yawned again.

"what time is it?" I asked through my yawn.

Carl turned his attention to his watch he got from his dad and looked back up.

"around twelve. " he responded.

It was time for me to go to sleep. It's been a pretty long day and I need to be up at four, so I better needed to be fit and fresh.

"I think I'm 'bout to go hit the sack." I remarked tiredly.

I unlaced my shoes and tried to pull them of, but instead I lost my balance and fell on my side, but I managed to pull it off. With a little victory smile I looked at him but caught him already smirking at me.

"it's not as simple as it looks, right?" he said amused. So yeah, he did heard me suppressing a laugh earlier on. I rolled my eyes and pulled the covers over my body. I laid down and muffled my hand underneath the pillow to support my head.

"wake me up at four." I muttered, while trying to keep my eyes open.

"will do." He mumbled, while turning back to his comic book and flicking it.

I closed my eyes the heaviness became too much to handle as I got more tired.

Eventually I drifted away into a deep sleep, into the darkness just as always.

_It was cold. Very cold. Mary from the Waters family had put on a little fire inside an old cottage near Macon. It's been a long time since the outbreak happened. I lost track of counting the days a long time ago. Though it's hard to believe, I felt happy. I was here together with my family even my mom was here. she'd been sober now a couple of years. _

_She'd changed. She is nice now, I thought. she 'd stopped yelling and cursing. Maybe she loves me again. _

_My brother Brandon left a while ago, he went out with Doug to go find some food. It's been days since we ate. We had a small group, but our recently member Helen was heavily pregnant so she ate for two. She was only eight-teen years old. I can't imagine what happened to her. I heard some of our whisper about it a few times. If I listened closely I could hear the words: villainy, bad people and wrong place, wrong time. _

_That could only mean one thing._

_I sat next to my childhood best friend named Sam Pendery and we leant against each other back to back. The warmth of dancing flames calmed every tensed muscle I had. The prickling sound made me relax as I felt more on ease. This was the first time in days that our group felt a little safe. We had been running for a long time, until we stumbled across this little cottage. _

_"__I'm gonna hit the outhouse." My mom suddenly spoke up. all the attention turned towards her as she stood up from her seat and walked towards the door._

_"__sure you'll be safe?" Mary asked concerned as she poked the fire with an iron fire poker. _

_"__yeah I don't mind to come with you." Helen remarked concerned. _

_My mom pulled her gun from her holster and threw it up in the air and caught it with ease. _

_"__don't worry I got it covered." She smirked slightly, while putting her gun back in her holster. _

_" __I donno mom.." I said, disapproving and concerned. I stood up and Sam smiled at me. My mother smiled warmly at me and walked towards me._

_"__don't worry honey, I'll be right back." She spoke softly, while kissing my forehead. She gave a tight hug before she left. _

_It was already dark and I didn't trusted my mom out there all alone. Even though I'm still a kid I knew the consequences that could happen. _

_With worried eyes I looked at the door waiting for her to get back. My gut was telling me that something was wrong. _

_"__she'll be back, just like she said." Sam comforted me while putting an arm around my shoulder. _

_I gave him a feeble smile and kept looking at the door. _

_Still nothing. _

_Minutes passed by and the door didn't open. _

_Suddenly I noticed that my mom forgot to bring toilet paper __with her. I stood up and grabbed the toilet paper from the counter and walked to the door._

_"__where 'r you goin'?" Sam asked me suspicious. His green eyes were locked on my blue ones and he wasn't about to break our gaze. Everyone's attention turned to me instead of the slowly dying fire. _

_"__mom forgot this. I might as well bring it to her, check if she's alright." I responded, rolling my eyes amused. _

_"__okay, but come back quick okay?"__Sam's dad, Ron stated. _

_I nodded firmly and walked outside._

_A light breeze hit my bare arms and I shivered a little bit, but I kept walking towards the outhouse._

_I saw my mom's shadow reflected in the moonlight as she was holding something to her head. _

_I pushed the bushes aside and we stood at an open place in the woods, not far away from our cottage. _

_"__mom? What 'r you doin'?" I asked confused. My mom's back was faced towards me but quickly turned around as she heard me. Wide eyes full of terror and shock looked at me. her face was tear stained and was she was holding her little gun pointed at her own head. _

_"__mom? What 'r you doin'?!"I asked more concerned and demanding now. _

_Was this some kind of sick joke because it is freaking the hell out of me. _

_"__honey, I'm sorry.." she said voice trembling. Her eyes were flooded with tears as she flicked the safety of her gun. Words could not subscribe what I was feeling right now. I was terrified and my eyes were filled with tears. _

_"__mom, what are you talking about?!" I asked voice trembling and fumbling my sweaty palms._

_My mom's sad eyes just simply stared at me at me as a single tear fell down her cheek. _

_"__I just can't do this anymore… I-I don't want this anymore…"she cried softly. _

_"__w-why 'r you doin' this?" I said choking on my own words as a single tear fell down my cheek. _

_Her finger curled tighter around the trigger as she took a step back. _

_She looked at me with her pleading eyes as if she was saying 'please leave me I don't want you to be here'_

_The something snapped. _

_The same rage, the same ager, the same feeling I had before all this. My mom was leaving AGAIN and this time she doesn't want to come back because she had to. She wanted it to. _

_"__you can't do this! You can't leave me again!" I yelled throughout my tears. A fit off tears fell down my cheek as were my moms. _

_"__I'm sorry honey, I love you."_

_My eyes widen at her sudden moment and wanted to run towards her._

_One little click…_

_BAM!_

_A loud shot rang out throughout the forest. _

_That was the moment, the moment where that part of me being a kid, vanished. _

I jolted awake heavy breathing as I heard a faint call, calling my name. my mind was spinning just like everything else in around me. My sight was still blurry as my eyes were trying to adjust to the bitter hard reality.

**there you go hopefully you liked it ;)**

**this was just a little part about here life before the prison, but that's not all :) **

**i just don't want to say everything just yet :)**

**till next time (probably within a few days)**

**xxxxxxxikimmilove**


	11. Chapter 11

**heeey guys ^^**

**god, i feel awful abandoning you for so longgg!  
>first of all merry christmas and happy new year (god i feel horrible XD) <strong>

**i was soooo busy with my terms and exames and stuff that i totally forgot about everything. it was not just that, i've had a major writers block and i know what i want for this story in the future, but i can't work up to it. it's really late at the place i live, so i woke up like: shit i still need to update that. so i started writing and i'm soo tired. it's gonna be a short chapter, so i guess this chapter will be more of a 'filler' i'm super sorry. but i promise next chapter will be up soon and it will be more exciting that this one **

**once again i'm so freaking sorry.**

**disclaimer: i do not own TWD just my own character :))))**

Chapter 11

Some things never change. Even though how much you try and change it, it'll never change. Reality sucks. I think that everyone thinks that in some point of their life. Some reality doesn't seem like it would ever come true like, dead people walking around. If you'd told me this before all of this started, I'd probably would burst out in a fit of laughter. Or if you'd tell me that my mom killed herself in front of me, I'd probably think you would be insane. But even though the reality seems to unrealistic to be real, I now understand that everything can happen.

Tears stained on my face, which was very weird because I'd promised myself that I would never cry again. My head was pounding and I knew I looked like a monster. I felt my blond hair sticking against my face. The smell of sweat hit my nostrils and it smelled horrible. I wiped the sweat from my face and sat up straight against the watch tower wall. Soft echoes from screaming people pierced through my ears

"Jesus, are you okay? It looked like someone was strangling you." A voice spoke up.

The sound of carl's voice made my head throbbing. He sat next to me down on his knees.

"just f*cking dandy." I spat annoyed. I blinked away my headache as I finally looked up at a very confused looking Carl.

"I'm sorry. I'm not used getting these weird ass flashbacks." I confessed as I rose my hand to my head.

"flashbacks?" he asked confused. I nodded slowly and looked at my pale sweaty hands.

"did you get to know more about what happened to you?" he asked me, curiosity audible in his voice.

"yeah." I mumbled curtly. I didn't really want to talk about it. It hurts every time I thought about it. About, how I could've stopped her and that it was all of my fault. I could've smacked that thing away from her hand. If I just hadn't been so goddamn naïve and kept asking what she was doing. I knew what she wanted to do and yet still I froze and did nothing. I was being a child.

Carl nodded simply and got the note that I didn't want to talk about it.

"we've all been through shit Rose, not just you." I could hear him mumble underneath his breath.

The sky was slowly turning into a light shade of blue, meaning that it would be daytime any time soon. I was happy about that. It meant that I _again_ survived another night.

"you should get some sleep, I'll take it from here." I said as I stood up and took my rifle in my hands. Carl nodded in agreement and pulled the covers almost over his head.

I took my stance outside the watchtower on the little iron balcony surrounding it. It was quiet and peaceful. I could almost block out the sound of the flesh eating monsters that kept snarling. My stomach rumbled. I was starving. I hadn't ate something in a few hours. I ignored the loud cry out for food and kept my attention to the field. No one was awake yet. Which surprised me. Not even Daryl was awake for his early morning hunts. I was probably the only one awake. I flicked of my safety for just in case. I stood there leaning against the steel bars from the balcony and listened to the sound around me.

My mind wondered off to Patrick, who I think hadn't slept at all night. To be honest, he looked like shit the last time I saw him. But he didn't want me to help so I'll guess it was not that bad. I could see the sun peak through the forest. I smiled at the view and let out a light, satisfied sigh .

I'd probably need to wake up Carl, just as he told me to. Two hours had passed since I took over his shift. I felt really sorry. I did get more sleep than him and that wasn't fair. I do think that he tried to wake me up, but with no success clearly.

I opened the door and walked up the sleeping person. He mumbled in his sleep and shifted a few times. Guess I'm not the only one who's having a bad dream. I reached over to the blanket and just before I could get near his shoulder to shake him, his other hand grasped my wrist tightly. In reaction, I yanked my hand away and stumbled back on the other matrass. He was lucky that I hadn't had my gun out. He shot up and looked around warily.

"god you scared the shit out of me." I said, still startled by his sudden movement.

"huh.. what?" he asked me in slight disbelieve. I let out a light chuckle. Not because I thought It was funny, but more about the way I reacted. He raised his eyebrow in confusing.

"never mind. You need to get up, you have work to do and Michonne is leaving." I stated, while standing up and putting out my hand so I could help him up. When he was on his feet, we left the towers towards the prison.

We passed the fences with the walkers behind them. The loud snarls from walkers made me shiver. I looked at them and analyzed them. Some were female gendered and others were male. Some were big some were small, some were fresh- turned and some were almost gone caused through decaying. I can't be believe how much the unrealistic became the realistic.

**again, i'm soooooo sorry. it'll never happen again. i hope you don't kill me XD it's super short and it's usually not that short, but i'm sooo tired. **

**i'll update before next weekend starts, maybe even more. **

**i love you guys and i hope you'll understand **

**much love from me, **

**xxxx ikimmiLove**


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